Mexico's drug war: Made in USA

As the bodies pile up from drug cartels gone wild in our neighbor Mexico, it is obvious these folks fighting to the death have a pretty hefty profit they're concerned about keeping.

But the demand that is feeding this bloody southern supply does not come from within a town like Ciudad de Juarez' borders. This problem is American-made. In fact, even the guns in the hands of many of the illegal entrepreneurs are stamped with Made in the USA. Something tells me Texas alone has a fair number of gun shops.

So why not decriminalize, grow our own bad habits -- or we can buy our dope from our northern, less bloodthirsty neighbor Canada?

Sure, there'll be a black market for any product being pushed, but the profit would be taken out of it for many dealers. And what government doesn't like a new item to tax? Not to mention tax dollars saved by getting some nonviolent drug offenders treatment instead of taxpayer-funded trips to prison through a revolving door.

Plus, agriculturally speaking, some struggling farmers could be given a new cash crop or two. And job creation would be a part of any such farming operation due to the necessary security guards and infrastructure to keep your local potheads from having too much of a green thumb and going on a midnight crop run.

Despite all of these cutting-edge, slightly off-kilter ideas, something tells me our country will keep on keepin' on with that good old status quo regarding our neighbor to the south:

Build a wall on the border and hope we can keep our favorite gardener and drywall guy.

Swine flu has media in hog heaven

There is a swine flu pandemic sweeping through the country -- only it's occurring much more in network newsrooms compared to the nation's living rooms. Informing people is one thing; bumping up the hysteria potential with that classic "beating a dead horse" angle is another.

Cases have been confirmed across about five states at this point, but the minor detail buried in the story is no reported deaths and a much more milder strain compared to our southern neighbor. It's good to get the word out, but superficial soundbites and taglines don't help anyone but the individuals adding it to their portfolio.

Yes, the genetic hybrid nature of this strain is worth paying attention to, and the lives lost in Mexico are frightening enough.

But despite the fact folks here exposed to "Babe fever" are simply going through flu-like symptoms -- who'da thunk? -- every corner will be staked out by your local senior swine flu correspondent until every last drop of Tamiflu is taken.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that this won't be the case for long, but I can already hear Anderson Cooper screaming sooey now.