Kim Jong Ill in the Head

(Pic from Global Security.org)

As if wars in Iraq and Afghanistan; Iran President Ahmadinejad and his Members Only jacket; increasing violence in Pakistan; and that good old reliable clusterfuck known as the Middle East wasn't enough -- the world now has the latest and greatest shitstorm: a nuclear North Korea with an increasingly whacky leader.

How effective and how far reaching is up for debate. But if you live in Seoul, this can't be a very relaxing time. We still have troops on the DMZ (demilitarized zone), but apparently that's not enough attention for Kim Jong Ill in the Head.

North Korea's military is always put first, at the expense of regular citizens who have endured famine, and some labor camps. Obviously, the man already doesn't care much for his people.

Add on the fact that he's had a stroke and is not in the best of health, and that's someone who truly doesn't give a fuck. Plus, with glasses like that, wouldn't you be pissed off most of the day?

Nuclear threat not 'so 1950s' after all

(AP Photo)

To think all this time after the Cold War has been over that humankind would still be dealing with the chance of a nuclear conflict would probably seem ridiculous to people who lived through the time of "mutually self-assured destruction."

Good thing kids then were trained to get under a wooden desk. Chalk one up to the government on that one.

Sarcasm aside, there's plenty of conflict in the world without adding on the science of splitting an atom's nucleus as a nice atomic icing. And though some seem to think the new U.S. president is Jesus minus the sandals, nuclear disarmament is the miracle of all miracles that is very unlikely.

Really, Russia and the U.S. are the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac of the nuclear meltdown, but that was established a long time ago. Whether we have a whack job like Ahmadinejad and his tan Members Only jacket in our driver's seat, or the rodeo imbecile that just left the Oval Office, there's enough hypocrisy to go around.

A much scarier prospect is the number of nations with what some would call not-so stable governments who have been shoppers in the nuclear marketplace. Not to mention those partaking in the A.Q. Khan Weapons-Grade Waffle House.

For the U.S., resolving Kashmir would appear to be Obama's best route to erase any thought of an India-Pakistan nuclear war, but Pakistan is becoming messier and messier by the minute. Look no further than Mumbai for proof of that. India's neighbor will be featured in my upcoming "Pakistan is Fucked-istan" series.

For any country that has already entered the nuclear stage, those who have the goods will simply stockpile -- a better solution than a more proactive use, that's for sure.

However, to end on a sunshiny note, I'm sure mankind will find some other way to fuck one another over -- we always do -- but at least a few less fingers will be on some very dangerous triggers.